OF MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS

My mother wasn’t intentionally emotionally closed off from her daughters. Fundamentally, she viewed women with distrust, which made vulnerability feel like venom. She wasn’t secretive and suspicious of her daughters because it was enjoyable, but because she believed that women, regardless of their good intentions, were almost always looking out for their own best interests, which made honesty and openness impractical. 

My mother struggled with being empathetic about my assault because she’d been conditioned to find me at fault, an action key to the preservation of patriarchy. There is no flip switch that snaps us out of our bias or breaks decades of conditioning. If we are biased before motherhood, a baby won't do much to change that.

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